Feli ♥ cious

ɯoɔ˙ʇodsƃolq˙01ʍɐıɔıləɟ

人生 

对我而言生命是很玄的东西
我们摸不到生命这个物体
却可以见证生命的开始与结束
生，是一次的偶然 
死，是一次的必然
从生到死就是活着的过程 
也就是所谓的人生
每个人知道自己几时生下来却不知道几时死去
这中间的人生几十年一晃眼就过去
总觉得不可以浪费青春不可以浪费什么时候该做什么事
不要求自己走出的每一步都是对的 
只求自己走出的每一步都是无悔的 
在活着的时候要找到自己存在的价值
让自己过的充实
既然来到这个世界走一回
就好好的活认真地活
不可以虚度
活着一定要有属于自己的目标和梦想
要给自己的人生画上几道色彩
要对自己的人生负责
要给自己的人生一个交代
当两鬓斑白的事候看回一路走来的人生
果然是不虚此行
人的一生就是要活得精彩。
















































今晚的我不知道是怎么了
整个人很烦躁没有心情
想找个人聊心事却不知道要向谁开口
有心事的时候是要找谁聊？有人可以回答我这个问题吗？
想写一些开心的事又不知道从哪里开始
好像很久没有真真的开心过了
就连刚过的新年一点热闹开心的气氛都没有
干脆写一点感性的来平衡我现在的心情
有时候和懊恼为什么在人生里面要有一个烦字？ 










越不被看好，越是要走到  我可以办得到吗？




我很烦...

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March

yes no doubt, looking at the calender for twice, it's March now, amazingly fast. everything is still the same, just like my expectation, two months before i was thinking i might get some changes when March is coming, but i knew i was just lying to myself, i actually got the answer at the time just i hope miracle will happens on me. how silly i was. ha ha ha. after two months, everything is remains the same. i'm still sitting in front my lappie and doing nothing. sometimes, i do really almost forget am i still a student. how sarcastic, right?


i do not want to give up. there is a long way for me to check it out. i wanted to know how is it looks like. can someone tells me, this is not my own problem, that's because i have no enough " luck ". i think it must be like that. yes, i need luck. best of luck. maybe i should try one more time. perhaps i can get it by this time. am i right? never try never know. another two months.. will i post this again? 

sometimes, i do really hate people asking me the same question. if you think i really like to answer this kind of question. ok fine, go ahead. and if you think you are very smart enough, i am so wonder why don't you just worry about yourself but not me. that is my own business you have no right to ask too much. and i have the right not to answer you. just behave yourself and don't blame on my ill-mannered. i really hate the way you talked and  your attitude was really pissed me off. darn you! 

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新年感想


新年也过得七七八八，很多人也都回到了正常的生活，上课做工。原本很热闹的BP突然间变得那么的安静，真的很不习惯，感觉有点空。这个新年也许是长那么大以来最没有新年气氛的一年，新年前一直忙到新年了，却不知道在忙什么，也都不是忙自己的东西。告诉自己，也许是长大了，小时候的那种很兴奋很期待新年来临的感觉也没有了，换来的却是累。没有新年气氛的新年，拜年也都没有感觉是在拜年，结果都没有去很多人的家。早上醒来，不会有那种今天是新年的感觉，就好像平时的日子一样，所以哪来的拜年心情。唯一想要做的却是趁大家回来过年时出来聚一聚，真的有很多人很久没有见面了，大家都变了不少，那我呢？

一个星期的假期就这样结束了。很多人都离开这里回到岗位上。不喜欢安静的BP感觉很冷清。你们都去哪里了？多希望我也是其中的一个，过完年了回到我的上课生活，但却不是这里的生活。随随便便，觉得自己好像是个很随便的人。我满心期待却换来百般阻扰，我为自己的路找到更好去向却换来的是不支持。人生最重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。 现在的我却看不见我的方向，要如何往我的方向踏出第一步都是一种困难。我真的很想离开这里，如果你有办法可以带我走，一定要告诉我。世界那么大，天空那么阔，我不想就一直呆在这里看同一片天做随便的人一点东西都学不到。带我走，让我飞，我对我要朝的方向有信心。

杯子破了一角，再怎样粘回去都还是有缺陷的。即使时间冲淡了心里还是有疙瘩。我知道你不说，我也不想提，再次提起只会让我觉得心痛。可是我却不明白为什么你会再给我那个message. 结果再见面的时候我知道我都保持着距离。说真的我很想问，却又不敢，怕问了不该问的。现在好像你对我的态度就看回以前你怎样对他。我不会讨厌你只是没有办法接收那么多的恰和出现。为什么又要给我这个？ 我又做错什么？ 原本想要在你离开前约吃一餐可是现在拿起电话的勇气都没有。唉….

希望明年的新年我和现在的处境会是不一样的。希望明年的新年气氛可以好一点。希望我真的可以心想事成。有希望才会快乐一点，真的吗？我希望我希望的不要变成失望就好。为什么我就不可以什么都不管，就这样离开。为什么…..

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How to eat sushi

hey people, so now do you know how to eat sushi ?
remember to use the sushi etiquette when u're having Japanese food.
*wink*  = )




ps : do not rub your chopsticks together to remove splinters 
( it's rude. a good sushi bar would never offer chopsticks of such low quality. )
-________- 
meaning that, msia has no good sushi bar, 
because you always can see the splinters on the chopsticks..
LOL.


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happy chinese new year & valentine's day

phew~ finally i have time to update here. it's been 1 week more i didn't post anything here. well, that's a busy week before CNY. i'm so wondering why must be so busy before CNY? maybe to most of you, it's nothing much different, but as for me, it's so damn busy. but all were from my mom's order. i got no choice, because this is an order! that's why i kept saying that i have no mood to welcome the 'tiger year'. don't even feel happy at all, but very tired and pekcek. why must got lotxa thing to do before CNY? and everywhere is traffic jam like hell. omg. unlike! 

after CNY, there'll be a bunch of friend leaving here soon. actually few of them are going to leave here on tml. super fast, right? feel a bit sad and unhappy. but no matter how, wishing everyone all the best and enjoy the study life. we'll meet up soon, hopefully. 

i have complicated feelings. new year mood is gone. what's my feeling right now? how i wish i could explain it now. maybe it's time to make a decision, i don't want to remain the same. god bless me.

lastly, wishing you all have a year filled with prosperous, good health and happiness & happy valentine's day~!!

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dark clouds around me?

希望一切顺利
希望得心应手
希望通畅无阻
希望愿望成真



没错
我又拿到OL


那又怎样
没有  也不开心
有      也不开心



心 · 情
       有点灰

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nonsense!!

i want to yumcha with my high school classmates
i want to hang out with my friendsssss
i want to go for vacation with friendssss
i want to earn money
i want to buy lots of thing
i want to travel around the world
i want to get a degree
i want to leave here


damn! i got no mood for cny. -_-













 
my little flabby knee :c
see da blacky, it's new one, costed my 100bucks! *heartbroken*
i don't want to wear this durin' cny
arrggg!!! please stop aching lah..

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untitled

why
so 
empty
.... ?


the feeling is back again
*wtf*


sigh.
feel like wanna have an outing.
who is free?


life is suck.
no more colorful.
black and white only.
*fml* 


i just don't want to stay at home, all the time. :c

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Promises

So many other factors affect our promises,
Many that are beyond our control.






Promises, sometimes reality breaks them instead

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=_______=

2 hours non-stop of playing badminton
Y-E-S !!!!!! *claps*
my little knee is aching now!!
aaarrrggg!!! what the f**k !?
pekcek x 100 !!!

=____________________________=

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craps!!!

friday - sunday : 
KL trip. had fun with you guys. made me miss a lot of thing. but i couldn't go back anymore.*fml*  Drinking is not a bad habit but you have to know how to control and behave yourself. and yea, i like the atmosphere in library. CNY is around the corner, everywhere is decorated with those cny thingy, and cny songs can be heard at any places. one utama got a BIG cat on the stage, well, i don't like cat at all but then i still went there to have a look, gosh, damn huge! the decorations of mid valley is not bad, very china-style. thumbs-up.



monday :
i skipped whole day classes and went to Tanjung Balai, Indonesia. with my mom. it's my first time to visit there. my first impression to this place was, omg, why so dirty? imagine the dust was everywhere and when you use tissue to wipe your face, there's a thick dust on the tissue paper. yucks. -_-'' bobian, there's still uncultured, this is what i felt once i stepped on the land. ohya, there's another thing which i have to credits to myself, yesterday was my first time sit on a motorbike more than 1hour! *claps*  and i wondered it's a business trip or hang gai trip. my mom bought a lot of thing and i only look around  the building and people there. too bad, i didn't bring my dslr because i scared later people there rob me of my stuffs. that's why i wore t-shirt, pants, canvas shoes, sunglass, backpack only. easy and comfortable to walk around and see around.






i got a call just now. sigh. worried and moody after that call. i hope everything can go smooth and please do help me. i need something to prove myself. and this is the only thing that can help me. i have already tried my best to do it. maybe i need some time to wait for it. but how long i have to wait again? i have no much time to wasted and i don't want to waste my time too. please please please, bless me... wish me luck..  *sigh* 


i'm now at station one, alone. nobody is free now. and i don't even dare to call anyone also. who else is free to entertain me? none. i think. well, being alone is not a big deal, i always like that what. *wtf* fine, i just don't like to being alone when the moment that i really don't want to. sadly, i always in this situation. o.O 


February is coming soon. i thought everything can have a change during the coming February, but i was too silly. everything is still the same. no matter it is march, april or may.... nothing gonna change it. even me myself couldn't change it for myself. *fuck* 


do not compare anyone to me. i have my own thoughts and mind. we're different. -_-

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yes or no

do not advise me to do anything. i had made up my mind. i insisted on my standpoint, reason and choice. just for this time. please let me be. if not doing this, i know i will feel regretful after years. god bless me. 



are you sure everything will be ok? *doubting*

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i need all of you

okay fine..


time to give up...


i won't call anyone..


you, you, and you..


gonna stay away, as far as i can..


i'm not important to anyone..


do not call me


where you gone when i need you the most?


you said give me a hug when tears out


you said give me your shoulder when i tired


you said cheer me up when i feel hopeless and sad


where's your promises?


i'm waiting for you but you never appear


it's time to let me disappear


do not try to find me just let me fly away


to somewhere that nobody knows who am i


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the silence of midnight

Just feel like wanna blogging now. Don't know why. So here is it.


It is 1:47am now but I still awake ( I went to bed at 11 and get up few mins ago -_- )
looking at my lappie like 10mins but have no idea what should I continue in this post.


There must be something to upset me everyday, I think.
Even thought most of my friends were back to hometown.
But I still feel a bit sad.*wtf*
What's wrong with me?
Life is not as smooth as what I expected.
Everything is so out of control.
Just like the god is play hide-and-seek with us. 
It's really unpredictable. 


People around us always come and go.
They come when need you and go when you are useless to them.
I know it's cruel but don't you think it's a truth.
Our life is getting more and more realistic. Can't blame anyone to become like this.
This is human nature, I guess.
What a sad case. 

We, human being, the most complicated unit in this universe.
Especially our brains. Cannot be touched/viewed easily but we can feel it anytime.
Sounds very cool, right?
It's the powerful function/tool to human being.
And of course, our mind is powerful too. Never look down on it. 
Outputs are all come from mind. 
If we can read others mind so easy it will be so fun.
But sometimes you don't know what is going to be next. 
Like now, I really don't know where and what will be my next.  *sigh*
I strongly feel that I really need something to make my day.
But, of course not everyday yumcha. 
Maybe I don't know what to talk about during yumcha session.
I'd rather not to talk yet my mind is actually desperately wanted to. *long-faced*
No worries, I still love to hang out with friends.
So, call me if you want me to join together.


When you feel so empty.
No doubt. Yes, you're so empty.
Heart is empty.
Mind is empty.
Brain is empty.
Only tummy is FULL.
What da hell is wrong?
When someone feels empty it means he feels lost too. It's equal.
That's why I said, human being is so complicated.




Well, I used one hours in this post.
Time to stop now, otherwise, it will be an emo-long-post.
As I don't know what to write and the gastric is feeling unwell now.
I have to go. Hope I can sleep well. *damn*

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nothing at all

tell me, what's the feeling when you sitting at the same place for two hours but dunno what to do everything is blank.. *sigh* last night i was sitting in a cafe for two hours, alone. i had a blank mind. doing nothing and nothing to do. tried my best to fill the blank hours of the night. end up, i went to a cafe and called my bestie to give me an accompany, but everyone is busy in the peak season, i can truly understand. sitting there and watching workers doing their stuffs, watching those people walk-in and walk-out, watching other people talking out loud while eating. they're so busy why i so free? *wtf* i'm lost, totally lost. nothing i can say anymore, what else i can say? NOTHING nothing NOTHING. *sigh*

bring me out i just dun wan to stay at home.

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the answer that i don't wish to hear

" ... then you tomorrow  prepare your documents and hand in them.. "


" i know, i'm preparing now and make sure don't miss out any important doc..."






few hour later...




'' .. finish here first then just see how lah.. same what.. "


" &^#%&*(_&$^#% .... -_- "


" .. waste time? waste money? end up, u can also get it. why must go? stay at here lah..."


" *%##$%^*)((*^%.. na-beh... FML!! *hearbroken*... "






please don't built a hope for me
but end up you ruined it by your own hand


please don't promise anything to me
but end up everything bcm bubbles 


encourage, support, word, promise,
i don't know which one i can trust
i don't know which one is true
i don't know which one is .......


please don't be so perfunctory to me
i'm not 3yr old kid




i'm just too childish
i won't trust anyone again
i won't trust any words again
i won't trust any promises again


the feeling being hurts is not good at all
time cannot heals any wounds
trust me
don't bother me
i just want to lock myself in the cage
i wanna be a bird fly away
but i can't




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i got wings but i can't fly

time flies. it's another year and i never thought it could be so fast. so many things changed in a year and it seemed like all bad things around me. i hope everything is going smoothly now and i need some luck. i always imagine what if this time i can get what i want and what would it be? i always thinking and thinking, dreaming and dreaming, so happy and looking forward. of course,  i knew if i didn't get anything, i will become so depressed and disappointed. but what can i do? i've already done my best to do what i can but i still less one more thing. nowadays, lotxa friends back from different places and of course there're few gathering need to attend. yup, i felt so happy when meeting old friends. talking out loud and gossip-ing around, such a long time i have no this kind of gathering. it feels good and warm. but after that, it also made me thinking so much, feel down after everyone gone. i was unhappy when everyone wasn't here, but now i still have complicated feeling when everyone is here. wtf! arrggg.. emo emo emo.. how i wish the time can stop now, i dun wan tomorrow comes. nightmare gonna start from tomorrow. sigh. feel like wanna have an outing with friends, i dont care where is it, just i want have a holiday with my friends. i dunno when's the last time i had. sad. sigh. hey, if u guys going to somewhere gai gai or just one day also nvm, call me, i wanna go, can i? -_- wtf like i'm begging ppl. thinking to organize a trip, mm.. anyone interested, please contact me. 






i'm a bird. i wanna fly up high and see how big is the sky. do not lock me in the cage. i'd rather end up my life.









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just like i'm havin' break too!!

just back from station one, with chiayee. finally she's back from brissy. kinda miz her. although there're msn and skype, supposed it's very easy for us to keep in touch but yup everyone knew that her life over there damn busy so too bad we seldom can have a chat thru msn or skype. anyway, i can felt that u really changed alot, grew up and getting more and more mature. great to see that. btw, thanks so much for you xmas gift, haha it's my 2nd xmas gift, still remember i like xmas *blush*  well,  looking forward to out next gathering and i hope i can keep my promise, visit u in one day. haha.
ps : a bit sad lar if u can remember my CR bag =( 











yesterday i went out with qian. well, i admit that we always chatttttt thru msn or skype. but still can't wait to meet her and yup i do really miz her alot. still da same, maybe, i can't say you had changed or still a same, but one thing i can say that is, your cantonese really improved a lot, especially @#%&^ hahaha!!! mm.. oldtown, let me thinking of the past. okay la, nothing much to jot down, lai ri fang chang, still have plenty of time to meet u, right? =)



















shit man. because of that post. i started thinking which i had put it inside my heart, not to recall. sigh. maybe i'm just care about it. well, let bygones be bygones. time can proves everything. wahaha.

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this chocolate bar is so CUTE!!


                       thank you thank you  ♥  


                               still  the same 


                  even thought we changed a lot


               but we still work so hard for future


                         wish you all the best


                             ^__________^

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untitled

so near to you but couldn't touch it


fuck fuck fuck fuck


hate the feeling to the max


please that's not my fault


tell me who is the one


i have been working so hard


but still i have nothing


feel like wanna give myself a round of applause


no pain no gain


all rubbish and nonsenses


listen to everyone talking around


really lost in envy


what a stupid feeling


stupid stupid stupid stupid


i'm not a stupid


but just lack of luck


bullshit idiot  why so unlucky


all i need is LUCK


when can i be the next


i really hope i can be the one


please god help me to fulfill my wish


like a dumbie


nothing to say


tell me how to join in


i don't like the feelings and that[s quite sad


*sigh*


*long-faced*


=X

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OMG! why so cute?

 
photo taken by Bendley, copied from Plurk.


ARGG!! why so cute?! Chocolate and horoscope... very special and the more important one is, see da explanation, it's so damn accurate.. i meant, Gemini lar... haha!! I like this chocolate barrrrr..!!! 
" Choose their chocolate by taking a bite out of each piece. "
*LMAO* yup, i always like that. xD








PS: copy and paste this photo to here without your permission, sorry.

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台湾超准星座大师玛法达的2010年度星座运势

 双子座（5月21日至6月20日）


青云直上、炙手可热，财务小进 事业引领潮流


2010年对双子座而言，将是鱼跃鸢飞、名利加身的荣耀年，运势较去年更贵气。有志权力游戏、公职服务者，领先群雄、荣登金榜的机率不低。事业多方位发展，机动调整策略与主力重心，既分散风险，又彼此支持。收入虽有长进，全年都得防理财不当、家用暴增、意外破财等事。


事业学业：

双子座今年事业飞黄腾达，多才多艺，迈入十年一度的发迹良机。动荡环境造就百变金刚的本事，劲敌凋零，权力攻顶，越来越顺。上半年开发新市场、为产品换装、跨界发展、游击短打，成效立见。注意内部沟通矛盾。考运、学业大吉。


财富健康：

双子座今年正业收入稳定成长，财富累积较去年有成。可惜经手公款或合资生意，恐遇不可抗力或财务失控，成为漏斗。社交、公关、旅行支出不少。宜改善财务体质、理性消费、节制欲求、降低浪费。工作劳累伤身，健康管理首重舒压。


爱情婚姻：

双子座今年情感焦虑燥动，容易为了错误的原因坠入情网。爱情不该像101的跨年烟火，而是耐心、持久地做该做的事，不断为幸福关系添加薪火。恋情男女分分合合、换手机率和频率大增，常为惧怕寂寞而爱。婚姻是灵魂骚动、出口难寻。


耕耘幸福：第二季除外的其它月份

年度叮咛：调整工作态度和行动，成为效率110%的人。

开运配件：知识力

好运密码：天秤座贵人、银色、数字4、星期三

护身吉物：「幸运之钥」佩饰

召唤爱情：熏衣草、野姜花、薄荷、海豚图腾

幸福味：橙香、香茅草

幸运树：杜松、热带树



CLICK HERE  if you wanna know yours!!

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nothing

Watched 2 movies within 24hours. " IMAGINARIUM OF DR.PARNASSUS " and " AVATAR " again. *wth* But i really enjoy watching movie in cinema instead of watching DVD at home.


Complicated feelings that i'm having now aren't that easy to express. Everything is actually so near yet so far too. I don't know how to say out loud my feelings or thoughts but sometimes I really hope there's someone can pay attention on me. However, I knew it's not that easy to have this kind of people who willing to do so to me. That's why, here is the place for me to express myself. The sad thing is, I know some of my friends follow my blog and I don't really like to let others know myself too much, so, I won't blog too much about my inner side. Sorry for those who always asked me why I seldom write about my own stuff. 


Time flies, today is the 2nd day of 2010. What will I be doing in the next month? Where am I in the next month? Can someone let me know? I don't know if you guys got this kind of feeling, it's nothing at all, but you just need friends or family by your side. Like you're eager to have them at the moment. I have my family here, but sometimes there's something that they can't give you, but friends did it. Honestly, I need my friends now. When I checking the contact list in mobile phone, I found no one that I can make a call. I don't know who should I call to have a talk, I don't know. How sad. What da hell I'm doing!? 


I'm so pissed-off. I'm so disappointed. I'm so frustrated. *sigh*




Fine then, go to bed now. Everything will be ok. Tomorrow is waiting for me. Good night, dear readers!

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harlo 2010!!

no celebration.
no countdown.
no party.
no bbq.
no outing.
no fun.
no mood.

nothing special.


no longer a hyperactive girl.
that's why i'd rather stay at home to do my stuff.


no friends at here.
some of them got family gathering.
some of them got old classmates gathering.
some of them didnt come back to hometown countdown.
who else in bp? dunno..


my dad said,
i wanna go out with bf
i hope i have one too.
but too bad, i have none.




to me, it's nothing special.
i just want to have a peaceful night.
sleep early and let every bad thing goes away.
i want to have a new start new life new me and new target.
all those rubbish things in 09 are gone already.
welcome to 2010, fuck off 2009
new year comes, can i be a new me and start a new life to achieve the new target?
hopefully. god bless me.




happy 2010 to everyone.
good health, happiness and prosperity.

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