Feli ♥ cious

So many other factors affect our promises,

Many that are beyond our control.

2 hours non-stop of playing badminton

Y-E-S !!!!!! *claps*

my little knee is aching now!!

aaarrrggg!!! what the f**k !?

pekcek x 100 !!!

friday - sunday : 

KL trip. had fun with you guys. made me miss a lot of thing. but i couldn't go back anymore.*fml*  Drinking is not a bad habit but you have to know how to control and behave yourself. and yea, i like the atmosphere in library. CNY is around the corner, everywhere is decorated with those cny thingy, and cny songs can be heard at any places. one utama got a BIG cat on the stage, well, i don't like cat at all but then i still went there to have a look, gosh, damn huge! the decorations of mid valley is not bad, very china-style. thumbs-up.

monday :

i skipped whole day classes and went to Tanjung Balai, Indonesia. with my mom. it's my first time to visit there. my first impression to this place was, omg, why so dirty? imagine the dust was everywhere and when you use tissue to wipe your face, there's a thick dust on the tissue paper. yucks. -_-'' bobian, there's still uncultured, this is what i felt once i stepped on the land. ohya, there's another thing which i have to credits to myself, yesterday was my first time sit on a motorbike more than 1hour! *claps*  and i wondered it's a business trip or hang gai trip. my mom bought a lot of thing and i only look around  the building and people there. too bad, i didn't bring my dslr because i scared later people there rob me of my stuffs. that's why i wore t-shirt, pants, canvas shoes, sunglass, backpack only. easy and comfortable to walk around and see around.

do not advise me to do anything. i had made up my mind. i insisted on my standpoint, reason and choice. just for this time. please let me be. if not doing this, i know i will feel regretful after years. god bless me. 

okay fine..

time to give up...

i won't call anyone..

you, you, and you..

gonna stay away, as far as i can..

i'm not important to anyone..

do not call me

where you gone when i need you the most?

you said give me a hug when tears out

you said give me your shoulder when i tired

you said cheer me up when i feel hopeless and sad

where's your promises?

i'm waiting for you but you never appear

it's time to let me disappear

do not try to find me just let me fly away

to somewhere that nobody knows who am i

Just feel like wanna blogging now. Don't know why. So here is it.

It is 1:47am now but I still awake ( I went to bed at 11 and get up few mins ago -_- )

looking at my lappie like 10mins but have no idea what should I continue in this post.

There must be something to upset me everyday, I think.

Even thought most of my friends were back to hometown.

But I still feel a bit sad.*wtf*

What's wrong with me?

Life is not as smooth as what I expected.

Everything is so out of control.

Just like the god is play hide-and-seek with us. 

It's really unpredictable. 

People around us always come and go.

They come when need you and go when you are useless to them.

I know it's cruel but don't you think it's a truth.

Our life is getting more and more realistic. Can't blame anyone to become like this.

This is human nature, I guess.

What a sad case. 

We, human being, the most complicated unit in this universe.

Especially our brains. Cannot be touched/viewed easily but we can feel it anytime.

Sounds very cool, right?

It's the powerful function/tool to human being.

And of course, our mind is powerful too. Never look down on it. 

Outputs are all come from mind. 

If we can read others mind so easy it will be so fun.

But sometimes you don't know what is going to be next. 

Like now, I really don't know where and what will be my next.  *sigh*

I strongly feel that I really need something to make my day.

But, of course not everyday yumcha. 

Maybe I don't know what to talk about during yumcha session.

I'd rather not to talk yet my mind is actually desperately wanted to. *long-faced*

No worries, I still love to hang out with friends.

So, call me if you want me to join together.

When you feel so empty.

No doubt. Yes, you're so empty.

Heart is empty.

Mind is empty.

Brain is empty.

Only tummy is FULL.

What da hell is wrong?

When someone feels empty it means he feels lost too. It's equal.

That's why I said, human being is so complicated.

Well, I used one hours in this post.

Time to stop now, otherwise, it will be an emo-long-post.

As I don't know what to write and the gastric is feeling unwell now.

tell me, what's the feeling when you sitting at the same place for two hours but dunno what to do everything is blank.. *sigh* last night i was sitting in a cafe for two hours, alone. i had a blank mind. doing nothing and nothing to do. tried my best to fill the blank hours of the night. end up, i went to a cafe and called my bestie to give me an accompany, but everyone is busy in the peak season, i can truly understand. sitting there and watching workers doing their stuffs, watching those people walk-in and walk-out, watching other people talking out loud while eating. they're so busy why i so free? *wtf* i'm lost, totally lost. nothing i can say anymore, what else i can say? NOTHING nothing NOTHING. *sigh*

" ... then you tomorrow  prepare your documents and hand in them.. "

" i know, i'm preparing now and make sure don't miss out any important doc..."

few hour later...

'' .. finish here first then just see how lah.. same what.. "

" &^#%&*(_&$^#% .... -_- "

" .. waste time? waste money? end up, u can also get it. why must go? stay at here lah..."

" *%##$%^*)((*^%.. na-beh... FML!! *hearbroken*... "

please don't built a hope for me

but end up you ruined it by your own hand

please don't promise anything to me

but end up everything bcm bubbles 

encourage, support, word, promise,

i don't know which one i can trust

i don't know which one is true

i don't know which one is .......

please don't be so perfunctory to me

i'm not 3yr old kid

i'm just too childish

i won't trust anyone again

i won't trust any words again

i won't trust any promises again

the feeling being hurts is not good at all

time cannot heals any wounds

trust me

don't bother me

i just want to lock myself in the cage

i wanna be a bird fly away

but i can't

time flies. it's another year and i never thought it could be so fast. so many things changed in a year and it seemed like all bad things around me. i hope everything is going smoothly now and i need some luck. i always imagine what if this time i can get what i want and what would it be? i always thinking and thinking, dreaming and dreaming, so happy and looking forward. of course,  i knew if i didn't get anything, i will become so depressed and disappointed. but what can i do? i've already done my best to do what i can but i still less one more thing. nowadays, lotxa friends back from different places and of course there're few gathering need to attend. yup, i felt so happy when meeting old friends. talking out loud and gossip-ing around, such a long time i have no this kind of gathering. it feels good and warm. but after that, it also made me thinking so much, feel down after everyone gone. i was unhappy when everyone wasn't here, but now i still have complicated feeling when everyone is here. wtf! arrggg.. emo emo emo.. how i wish the time can stop now, i dun wan tomorrow comes. nightmare gonna start from tomorrow. sigh. feel like wanna have an outing with friends, i dont care where is it, just i want have a holiday with my friends. i dunno when's the last time i had. sad. sigh. hey, if u guys going to somewhere gai gai or just one day also nvm, call me, i wanna go, can i? -_- wtf like i'm begging ppl. thinking to organize a trip, mm.. anyone interested, please contact me. 

i'm a bird. i wanna fly up high and see how big is the sky. do not lock me in the cage. i'd rather end up my life.

just back from station one, with chiayee. finally she's back from brissy. kinda miz her. although there're msn and skype, supposed it's very easy for us to keep in touch but yup everyone knew that her life over there damn busy so too bad we seldom can have a chat thru msn or skype. anyway, i can felt that u really changed alot, grew up and getting more and more mature. great to see that. btw, thanks so much for you xmas gift, haha it's my 2nd xmas gift, still remember i like xmas *blush*  well,  looking forward to out next gathering and i hope i can keep my promise, visit u in one day. haha.

ps : a bit sad lar if u can remember my CR bag =( 

yesterday i went out with qian. well, i admit that we always chatttttt thru msn or skype. but still can't wait to meet her and yup i do really miz her alot. still da same, maybe, i can't say you had changed or still a same, but one thing i can say that is, your cantonese really improved a lot, especially @#%&^ hahaha!!! mm.. oldtown, let me thinking of the past. okay la, nothing much to jot down, lai ri fang chang, still have plenty of time to meet u, right? =)

                       thank you thank you  ♥  

                               still  the same 

                  even thought we changed a lot

               but we still work so hard for future

                         wish you all the best

so near to you but couldn't touch it

fuck fuck fuck fuck

hate the feeling to the max

please that's not my fault

tell me who is the one

i have been working so hard

but still i have nothing

feel like wanna give myself a round of applause

no pain no gain

all rubbish and nonsenses

listen to everyone talking around

really lost in envy

what a stupid feeling

stupid stupid stupid stupid

i'm not a stupid

but just lack of luck

bullshit idiot  why so unlucky

all i need is LUCK

when can i be the next

i really hope i can be the one

please god help me to fulfill my wish

like a dumbie

nothing to say

tell me how to join in

i don't like the feelings and that[s quite sad

*sigh*

*long-faced*

=X

青云直上、炙手可热，财务小进 事业引领潮流


2010年对双子座而言，将是鱼跃鸢飞、名利加身的荣耀年，运势较去年更贵气。有志权力游戏、公职服务者，领先群雄、荣登金榜的机率不低。事业多方位发展，机动调整策略与主力重心，既分散风险，又彼此支持。收入虽有长进，全年都得防理财不当、家用暴增、意外破财等事。


事业学业：

双子座今年事业飞黄腾达，多才多艺，迈入十年一度的发迹良机。动荡环境造就百变金刚的本事，劲敌凋零，权力攻顶，越来越顺。上半年开发新市场、为产品换装、跨界发展、游击短打，成效立见。注意内部沟通矛盾。考运、学业大吉。


财富健康：

双子座今年正业收入稳定成长，财富累积较去年有成。可惜经手公款或合资生意，恐遇不可抗力或财务失控，成为漏斗。社交、公关、旅行支出不少。宜改善财务体质、理性消费、节制欲求、降低浪费。工作劳累伤身，健康管理首重舒压。


爱情婚姻：

双子座今年情感焦虑燥动，容易为了错误的原因坠入情网。爱情不该像101的跨年烟火，而是耐心、持久地做该做的事，不断为幸福关系添加薪火。恋情男女分分合合、换手机率和频率大增，常为惧怕寂寞而爱。婚姻是灵魂骚动、出口难寻。


耕耘幸福：第二季除外的其它月份

Watched 2 movies within 24hours. " IMAGINARIUM OF DR.PARNASSUS " and " AVATAR " again. *wth* But i really enjoy watching movie in cinema instead of watching DVD at home.

Complicated feelings that i'm having now aren't that easy to express. Everything is actually so near yet so far too. I don't know how to say out loud my feelings or thoughts but sometimes I really hope there's someone can pay attention on me. However, I knew it's not that easy to have this kind of people who willing to do so to me. That's why, here is the place for me to express myself. The sad thing is, I know some of my friends follow my blog and I don't really like to let others know myself too much, so, I won't blog too much about my inner side. Sorry for those who always asked me why I seldom write about my own stuff. 

Time flies, today is the 2nd day of 2010. What will I be doing in the next month? Where am I in the next month? Can someone let me know? I don't know if you guys got this kind of feeling, it's nothing at all, but you just need friends or family by your side. Like you're eager to have them at the moment. I have my family here, but sometimes there's something that they can't give you, but friends did it. Honestly, I need my friends now. When I checking the contact list in mobile phone, I found no one that I can make a call. I don't know who should I call to have a talk, I don't know. How sad. What da hell I'm doing!? 

I'm so pissed-off. I'm so disappointed. I'm so frustrated. *sigh*

Fine then, go to bed now. Everything will be ok. Tomorrow is waiting for me. Good night, dear readers!

no celebration.

no countdown.

no party.

no bbq.

no outing.

no fun.

no mood.

nothing special.

no longer a hyperactive girl.

that's why i'd rather stay at home to do my stuff.

no friends at here.

some of them got family gathering.

some of them got old classmates gathering.

some of them didnt come back to hometown countdown.

who else in bp? dunno..

my dad said,

i wanna go out with bf

i hope i have one too.

but too bad, i have none.

to me, it's nothing special.

i just want to have a peaceful night.

sleep early and let every bad thing goes away.

i want to have a new start new life new me and new target.

all those rubbish things in 09 are gone already.

welcome to 2010, fuck off 2009

new year comes, can i be a new me and start a new life to achieve the new target?

hopefully. god bless me.

happy 2010 to everyone.

today is the last day of 2009. finally it gonna end soon. why i said so? honestly, 2009 is definitely not my year. it's sucks. i think it's the bad year, to me. i lost myself  i lost my way i lost lotxa things. i can't find anything to light up my days. i lost motivation and i learnt nothing. *wth* to me, it's not my year. what a lonely and driftless year. i hate it so much. so, should i feel happy that 2009 is gonna end in another 24hours? em.. yes i think so. but will the same thing happen in 2010? i scared and i don't even dare to hoping so much. the more you expect the more disappoints you will get. sounds so lousy, right? but it's true, i hate that kinda feelings. for me, this year is totally nothing special and meaningless. i spent one year time to do lotxa thing for myself but i got nothing back. just now i read others blog as well, i do really really envy them, they had wonderful and meaningful year, they found what they want, they finally did something for their own, they got motivation in life, they learnt new things, they happy because they live their life in this year. how i envy them. totally lost in envy. i hope i can just like them in one day, go to a place that i longing and do what i wish i can do in my life. i really hope i can, however, it seems like never near me. *complicated feelings comes again    ? sigh*

brand new year? brand new start? brand new me? *doubt so*  if it's really my " new " year, please give me a new start. dear god, please give me an arir play when you're giving it to others. i know it's sounds so stupid. but this is the only " hope " for me. sigh. i do really scared. another year is coming soon, i really don't wish everything will remains the same, please don't. i beg and i pray. let me have a new start and hopefully it's my year.

i miss my friends.

This drama is about a girl who was diagnosed with a disease called “Spinocerebellar Degeneration” when she was 15 years old, and was able to continue her life until her death at the age of 25 years old.

The plot is based on the true story of a Japanese girl named Kito Aya, who had the same disease. She kept writing in her diary to remember her experiences until she could no longer hold a pen. Aya simply wished to live until the end of her life, and the purpose of writing in the diary was to remind herself to not give up. She shed tears many times, at the same time encompassed by the rich love and support from her family, friends, and boyfriend. Her diary “1 Litre of Tears” was published after her death, because of its inspiring and courageous messags.

*heart* this song so much. The lyric is meaningful. Enjoy the video! 

 

" Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing."

" People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now."

" Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don't even have the right to dream. As I think about the future, the tears will come out again."

thanks to JingLee to sharing this drama to me. It's a meaningful drama and really touched me. I didn't cry but felt sad after watching the drama. It's really inspiring. Life is too short, do what you want to do when you're still healthy, and always give yourself some encourages. Stand up again when you fell down.